Sunday, October 23, 2011


This BREEDERS (1997) derives from that BREEDERS (1986) and you can tell by the box covers how the focal point has shifted.  I probably rented the original BREEDERS forty times or more, although I mostly forgot the walking-in-hallways scenes and talking scenes and remember it as being a movie about naked 80s punk rock girls wallowing in vats of alien sperm.

This more refined, gentle BREEDERS is more about the romance between art professor Ashley (Todd Jensen) and salacious student Louise (Samantha Janus).  A meteor lands on the campus of their Boston college, prompting someone to mention how insurance will cover the damage (meteor insurance?).  College girls, being moronic trend-followers generally, collect bits of the damaged stone to wear as pendants or something, but are unaware that a monster that looks pretty much like the one they saw in ALIEN/ALIENS is hiding downstairs, waiting to lay its eggs in female hosts.  BREEDERS!

I know you'd expect nonstop nudity, given the premise, but, guess what, you're wrong.  Because this has one shower scene and Samantha Janus sans bra on the side of the see-saw that sits in the clouds, while the other side is weighted down with tons and tons of badly-lit walking scenes and years of dialogue.  A good case could be made that the 90s were the worst decade for horror (at least until BLAIR WITCH came along), since so many people were recycling the old formulas, but forsaking gore and sex for whatever reason.  Too busy buying flannel and reading Nietzsche.

The budget for this was probably at least triple that of the original and I seem to remember it being aired alongside those cable-produced Corman remakes of the 90s (like the original PIRANHA remake).  Not sure if it was part of the same series, but (if so) that explains the mawkishness, since cable financiers tended to be gun-shy about going all-in for exploitation (remember the HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP remake?).  

I'm sure my fond memories of the original wouldn't stand up to repeat viewing, but I would be really surprised if it weren't at least a little better than this BREEDERS.   

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