Sunday, October 25, 2015

House on Sorority Row (1983)

I've got no affinity for slashers.  I don't personally dig the genre and I really don't like it when people who don't know anything about horror assume that every movie is Friday the 13th.  I can recognize the overachievers, like Black Christmas, but most of the junk that was born in the eighties leaves me cold.


House on Sorority Row leaves me cold.  A woman gives birth under blue-tinted lights.  Years apparently pass and she ends up as the silver fox in the screenshot above, a house mother to a raucous sorority.  A raucous sorority prank goes wrong.  Death happens.  Then more death happens as a result.


It's pretty much like Prom Night and The Burning and that bunch.  To give you an example of the writing prowess of this movie, the fat dude in the screenshot above says, "I'm a sea pig!" twice.  If nobody reacts to your joke the first time, say it again, but louder.  


I mean, this is professional, but that's not exactly high praise.  If you've met the minimum requirements for film making, with actors hitting their marks and no lens flares, it's not like there's some medal of honor waiting for you.  This could have been more fun if the inane premise (a bunch of sorority girls kill someone and try to hide it in the most ignorant way) had been pressed even farther into absurdity.  As it stands, it's kind of a tired crawl to get through this thing.  Maybe the remake is better?  IDK.


One thing I will give slashers, they managed to make severed heads in toilets a recurring trope, against all odds.


**1/2

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