The credits dawn in mid-acid trip and one is led to believe that this Queen of Blood will live up to its psychedelic 60s birthright.
But it is actually set in the 90s! A future time, when science has perfected interstellar travel, even to Mars! But everyone in this alternate 90s acts like they're from the 50s, as girls flaunt Gidget haircuts and neatly-trimmed John Saxon wears a turtleneck to the science lab. Admittedly, this fantasy 90s is a lot better than the real thing. Give me excited, ambitious scientists over dicks wearing expensive flannel and pretending to mope around the mall.
My well-established theory of movie titles should warn you that Queen of Blood is not going to be a bloodletting of any sort. Actually, this is an exceedingly slow burn of a film, as we get prepped for the trip to Mars pretty much in real time.
Effects pop up to capture our flagging interest, rad old sci-fi effects that now seem retro-cool.
Whatever the film's flaws, you must admit that its soundstage scenes are a lot more convincing than the fakey Apollo """moon landing""".
The scientists get to Mars, in a series of scenes that feature actual science! They land on Phobos first because of fuel gravity or something, then hop on over to the red planet. And they meet...
THE QUEEN OF BLOOD
Yes, she pretty much looks like a Star Trek tart. And Trek isn't a bad reference point for this film, as the two share similar pacing and structure. This is especially noticeable in the film's conclusion, which made me say, "That's it?!?" loudly and then laugh. It is perhaps the most abrupt conclusion I have ever seen. But it comes after a decent, not-prolonged, and not-unrewarding sequence of stuff, so let's be kind with our rating here. But, yeah, be aware that this is pretty much Planet of the Vampires's goofy kid sister and prioritize accordingly.